Bad Credit MasterCard

Bad Credit MasterCard - By Susan Jennings

You want to know one of the greatest things that have happened in my life? Try the bad credit MasterCard options on for size. They fit better than any shoe you could ever wish you could cram your feet into. That's where it all started. That's where my career in credit started. That's when I went from a rookie to a pro. The instant I saw the bad credit MasterCard offers I was intrigued. I wondered if they could get me out of the ditch I had dug. I wanted to immediately apply for a bad credit MasterCard - I did. The rest is history. Let me tell you about it.

There was a time in my life where I'd sit on my back and watch the birds on the my bird feeder. Oprah would be on the television. Flowers would be in bloom. My husband Jason would be doing yoga and brewing homegrown tea. And in these serene times, curled up on the my inexpensive lawn furniture on a lazy summer afternoon, I would think, if I had bad credit MasterCard would help me. Thank God for them. Without MasterCard, I wouldn't have my inexpensive lawn furniture. Jason wouldn't have his yoga mat or his leotard. My birds wouldn't have their feeder. I wouldn't have the grain alcohol which I so love to imbibe.

Bad credit MasterCard and the sixties

Indeed, if this were the Sixties, back when I was pilfering cash from the drawer of the Sears where I worked for drug money, I would have no credit. I would certainly not have a gold MasterCard. Because they would have already cancelled them and my dealer Shane would have cut them up. You see, drug dealers used to accept credit cards back then. But if you had bad credit MasterCard wouldn't give you a card and you wouldn't get drugs. Life would be tough without drugs. Drugs are why I sit on the back deck for days on end staring at birds. Drugs make the suburbs somehow okay.

With bad credit MasterCard, you want to start saving immediately. Invest into a 401(k), starting with 8% of your annual income. Once you get up to over $200,000 in savings, you can start planning for retirement and will qualify for a platinum MasterCard. In the meantime, with a prepaid MasterCard, you can put money onto a card before you spend it. This will show that you have the ability to hand the cashier a credit card, or, if you for whatever reason choose, you can give it as a gift to your neighbor to thank them for getting you your illegal Prozac prescription.

Bad credit MasterCard and the suburbs

Yes, the suburbs can be depressing. You're going to need drugs to keep up that smiley face so everyone is reassured that life is a-okay. Which is why suburbanites are fat--no, not because Oprah is fat. Her fatness is because we like seeing fat people because we are fat too. In fact, suburbanites are fat because they have such good credit that they can use their MasterCard credit card to buy tons of food like cupcakes and raw meat.

So as I sipped the cup of tea that Jason brought out to me with a cheerful, "Your tea, dear. Please don't tell me I'm ugly again," I thought about money. I thought about food. I thought about getting stoned. I thought about Chase MasterCard .

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