Citibank Platinum MasterCard

Dear Citibank Platinum MasterCard,

I am broke. I need money, or at least I need another source of cash besides my dead end job at Subway. Don't get me wrong, Subway is a great place to work and I get free sandwiches. But I'm working only to pay bills and have no money to go out and have fun. Can you please send me a MasterCard? That would really make my life a lot easier. I'm tired of asking my friends to spot me every time we go somewhere. I want to be able to pay for myself -- and for them once in a while. Please help me. Please send me a Citibank Platinum MasterCard.

xoxoxo,

Chrissy

Dear Chrissy,

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past...FOREVER, you'd know that you can get one of our Citibank Platinum MasterCard online. There is no need to write to us personally. Besides, you sent this letter four months ago and we are just getting it. Had you gone online you would have had your card three months and two weeks ago, and you would be earning great rewards with your Citibank Platinum MasterCard. So here is my advice, go online and go to our web site and apply for one of our cards. No need to reply, just apply.

Sincerely,

Citibank

Dear Citibank,

I applied for my card and got it. I've been using it for quite sometime. Thank you for sending me a card personally. I know you give special attention to your customers, but this made me feel extra special. Thank you so much. I'm having such a great time with my platinum MasterCard. I bought you something with my card. Did you get it?

Love always,

Chrissy

Dear Chrissy,

Whatever makes you happy.

Yours truly,

Citibank

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